Have you heard the saying it is better to be single wishing you were married, than to be married wishing you were single?
If you are looking for encouragement because you find yourself single and feel disheartened, then this post is for you. Are you the girl waiting for God’s soulmate, tired of meeting playmates? Guess what, I was that girl too. My anticipated fairytale ended in shattered dreams. Then in time, I kept meeting the wrong guy or getting my heart broken. Until finally one day, it all ended really badly. I found myself in a toxic relationship. And I remember crying out to God. I felt a bit like Leah. Who for years had hoped that Jacob would love her. Five times to be exact and when she finally received a revelation from God. That she didn’t need a man to validate her, she was able to let go of that expectation – to be loved by Jacob. And live out who God made her to be and realise that her value, potential and exact design was already esteemed and approved with God’s seal. Regardless of any man’s love.
These six books outlined in this post can help you to recognise your worth. The fact that God knows your future better than you do. And I am simply here to inspire and motivate you, that if you pray as well as plan, God will hear and answer you. To allow Christ, your Kinsman Redeemer to change your heart. In the same way He has mine. All before your prince charming can turn up and change your name.
1| I Don’t Wait Anymore: Letting Go of Expectations and Grasping God’s Adventure for You by Grace Thornton
I have written many posts on waiting for the one. I wrote two prayer books – For My Future Husband and Becoming A Wife. In a few days, I will be taking that big step. And I want you to know that it isn’t because of me but My Kinsman Redeemer. Because like you, I went through an emotional roller coaster and struggled with piles of questions. But brokenness took me to the Master’s feet and only He knows the cost of the perfume that was released from the alabaster box of my heart as I prayed that God would bring the right person to me.
2| Truth, Lies, and the Single Woman: Dispelling 10 Common Myths by Allison K. Flexer
The truth is we permit ourselves to go through life believing the lies some nasty bloke once said to us. And forget that we are valuable and good enough. Not due to what social media portrays, but because we are chosen by God, hand made with care to be His princess. And our worth is not founded in a person or thing but in Christ the Cornerstone. So that means right where you find yourself is where you need to be. If that is out of God’s will, then you need to be listening to where He wants you to be and align your heart to His.
3| Where Have All the Good Men Gone? by Angela J. Kiesling
You see I spent too much time focusing on why I was single, and how awful it was to be alone, until God broke my heart and impoverished my soul. Away from seeking the harmful type of person in some of the most detrimental places. To the point that only He could make me become the woman He wanted me to be. It has taken time, been tough and isolating at times. But would I exchange what God has done. Not for anything.
4| The Wedding Dress by Rachel Hauck
Your life journey from a girl to a woman is made up of thousands of steps. Small ones. Big ones. Away. Towards. From. With. Together. Alone. Like that succelent grape that is crushed to make the sweetest wine. Or that oyster, that is damaged by an intruder and spends years fostering a natural pearl. Similiar to the process of how silver is refined under extreme heat, until all the impurities are removed. Our character is refined and polished from every trial and test we confront. Through depth and breath of time.
5| Revelations of a Single Woman: Loving the Life I Didn’t Expect by Connally Gilliam
The last decade has been a phase of navigating new lessons, restoration, healing and discovering novel choices and attitudes. Where the old had to be removed to give space for the restoration and redesigning of reborn actions imparted by the Artisan of my soul. As I stand on the brink of a new chapter of my life. I would like to offer you that indestructible hope. To live and chase the life God has intended you to seek out.
- To every girl who is waiting.
- To that girl who thinks she is forgotten.
- To you if you wonder when will it be me.
6| When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Lesley Ludy
But first, I had to come to the end of me and my plans. And that is when I surrendered meeting the one to God. Absolutely relinquished every part of who I was, how I had been hurt, the past with all it’s mistakes to God. And focused on handing over my love story to the Master author. Because I wanted the person God had for me to see the light of Christ and radiance through my soul. Besides I was tired of writing stories with lousy endings.
It is almost 4 years since we met that glorious spring day. And just over a year since he proposed in Paris on a stunning summer’s day. God’s chosen best is worth waiting for. Because I could never have done it on my own. No matter how hard I tried. We are more compatible than I could have imagined or asked for. My list doesn’t even matter.
In each of these books, they offer inspiration to grasp God’s hand and allow Him to lead you down the path He has specifically designed as your life voyage.
- Don’t give up.
- Don’t be disheartened.
- Don’t even buckle under the lies and doubt the enemy tries to filter into your heart.
I was in that place once, but I decided I wanted to change that negative and depleting mindset, to a positive and affirmative one. Where you move to living your best life. The one where I serve God and live every moment with excitement and positivity. In the process I met new like minded people. Had the privilege of being part of a renowned super church. Learned new hobbies. Gave up my old self to become this amazing new reinvented girl. One who chases life and became fun loving. You can too!
My thoughts for you and what I learned being single…
- God wanted me to see the time of singleness as a gift as I remained mindful of what He was teaching me and in the present. To learn new skills and adopt ways to became the person He wanted me to be – His girl.
- I realised no relationship makes you happy, you need to be whole first, knowing your identity is founded in the Eternal God. Otherwise you will attract the wrong person.
- When I got to the place where I simply wanted God to make my heart whole, I noticed how unattractive it was when I saw some of my freinds at the time being desperate and chasing futile matches in unsound situations.
- No relationship is better than any relationship and I know that so well, only because God had to take me to that place of utter brokenness before I learned the painful lesson.
- Pray and seek wisely for your future. Believe this or not, when you pray that is the best preparation you are making. For God’s wisdom and direction, guidance and well after all He is THE matchmaker.
I could go on listing more books, but I might save that for another post. What I want you to know is this – if you are worried you might never be picked. That is a lie. When you live in the most amazing life plan knowing where God wants you to be. From being deeply rooted to experiencing brand-new adventures to meeting different people to permitting God to spin unimaginable and unique dreams.
Despite what others might tell you. No you haven’t missed the boat. Neither are you left on the shelf. Step up with confidence. The precise timing and plan needs to fall like a puzzle into place, because of God’s working. Not a forced relationship. Under laboured or constrained circumstances. Because nothing sinister is ever part of God’s plan.
Share your thoughts…
Will you settle for less than God’s best for you, even if it means embracing the uncomfortable?