Did you know that the biggest source of your insecurity and frustration is because you try to change things you have no control of?
Our feelings of uncertainty and insecurity are a direct impact of the incapacity to fulfil something in our lives. We cannot cope with the long and drawn out consequences of social isolation and the pandemic. We feel stifled by the inability of life returning to normal. Here is where uneasiness and frustration can set into our emotions causing a jolting influence on our behaviour. Filled with tension, fear or anger and overaction, we can become hostile or aggressive towards others. Begin by understanding what is frustrating you and how you can deal with this. Then plan out how you can manage your frustration. To ditch the negative attitudes and behaviours. That are impacting your progress.
1| Identify the problem
Here is a list of questions to prompt you to get to the root of what is frustrating you.
- Why am I feeling this way?
- What is causing this pent-up up grudges or frustration?
- Is it work or difficult relationships or changes in my income and work stability?
- What makes me so angry?
- Why do I give up too soon?
- Do I have a loss of self-confidence or self-esteem?
- Is there some hidden stress that is causing this sad uncertain and anxious feelings?
- Why do I resort to negative, self-destructive or addictive behaviours?
- Is this linked to something or somebody? Or perhaps connected to certain times of the day, week or month?
Gain a different perceptive to uncover the patterns and times your frustration occurs. So that you can analyse why you are getting so upset. You have two ways to deal with the problem. One is cultivating essential skills to tackle difficult situations and increase your resilience. And the other is try to view stress as a positive part of your life. To promote tenacity and the ability to handle anything in a calm and structured demeanour.
Most times the smallest things can frustrate us, when we are bogged down by a life that is imbalanced with stress. Which is why it is vital you identify causes of your frustration and set out to find quick but effective solutions to manage them.
2| Analyse why you are getting so upset
Holding onto grudges can be like a festering sore. Where you might have identified the problem, but your dissatisfaction and frustation keeps recurring.
- Do certain places bring back frustrating emotions about a person or time in your life?
- Does it affect your health – mentally and physically?
- Is it linked to a time in your life when you were facing difficulties such as – loss of employment, financial difficulties, feeling undervalued at work, facing grief or losing someone you love?
When frustrations are not dealt with, like any pent-up emotions the continuous feeling of dread looms over your life. It can transfer to your dreams, where you experience vivid and frightening dreams. A build up of your responses to anxiety, being snowed under at work, distressed or experiencing uncertainty in your personal situation results in frustration. You are the only person that can adjust your viewpoint, by learning how to handle whatever comes your way in a practical way.
We may vary as men and women when it comes to dealing with stress and how we react to frustration, due to our biological makeup. However, this should not be used as a smoke screen to hide behind.
- Change the tone of your thoughts from reprimanding to encouraging and include a solution. Because every problem is fixable eventually.
- We may not be able to dodge the source of our frustration, but we can elect an optimistic approach carefully planned out towards a resolution.
- Right there in the middle of your frustration you need to convince yourself there is a solution.
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3| Convince yourself there is a solution
It can feel like being stuck in the mud, you want to move forward but you feel like the situation or your emotions are locking you down.
- Part of personal growth involves learning from your mistakes and logging past experiences into your memory bank.
- Where you begin to think quicker on your feet and benefit from wisdom you accumulate as you grow older. You could consider what worked in the past and figure out if that could work now.
- Criticism will be part of life, but it’s gaining the confidence to know how to side step your critics advice and still make the right decision.
- Invest effort and time to build your coping methods to manage frustration. To begin with you may forget these, but with practice you will soon try a few in the spur of the moment. In a bid to reframe your outlook and how you confront situations.
4| Reframe your perspective and how you look at situations
Some free tools to help you stress less and not fly off the handle is using breathing to calm down, choose tranquil exercise like yoga and improving your communication skills. Scheduling time for distraction techniques and relaxation activities such as your favourite hobby, travel or sport are beneficial to your overall stress levels and wellbeing. However, if your frustration continues you could seek counselling or cognitive restructuring with the assistance of a trained therapist, so you can specifically talk and work through your issues.
Recently, I have noted emails can display how frustrated people are, but if choose good communication skills – you can respond to the frustrations you encounter from others in a cool and composed way. Everything we do is based on how we communicate with others. And this will be a main component for your success.
- Start with understanding and managing your emotions to competently communicate.
- Then before communicating verbally or in writing, know the purpose of the communication and information you would like to obtain. So much confusion can be avoided if we become clearer and more cohesive in what we say.
- Personally, my tone is always friendly and that is a choice I want to ensure is integral. So that everyone I communicate with understands what I am saying in a manner that is confident but not aggressive. It is so easy to disregard empathy because of disagreements or different points of view.
- Respect is the foundation to proficient communication. In addition to active listening where you ask questions, clarify points and rephrase what you have understood in a friendly tone.
Can frustration stop us from doing what we love most?
Most of us love the job we are in, but are not exempt from facing the frustrations caused by a particular situation or another person. In aiming for a balanced work life, frustration should not be the cause of your unhappiness or dissatisfaction at work.
- Frustration is experienced by over 75% of staff in the work place due to ineffective management, excessive workloads, unrealistic deadlines, poor communication and at times the insufficient resources required to complete tasks.
- Holding onto frustration over things you cannot control is not a positive decision. Overthinking is like worry, it won’t make the situation better.
- As an employee it is important you make your manager aware of your concerns or worries that you were unable to tackle or address.
- Concerns with the balance of working remotely and dealing with stressful situations in this period of the new normal, lockdowns and increased time away from the office environment can impact your performance. So raising any issues or situations that have frustrated you to the attention of your team leader or manager in-between your scheduled 1:1 reviews is important.
- Maintaining a to-do list can eliminate the increases in stress, as you will have an outline of your daily tasks and can monitor extra tasks that you take on.
- Designate an area where you can take a break away from your desk or task when you experience stress or frustration to help you take proactive steps to identifying the source of your frustration. And assist you in proposing new systems to streamline your work and improve the overall team tasks.
Bible Verses to consider when you get frustrated
These scriptures can counteract your contrary reactions to doing what is right, being patient or trusting God.
- Don’t get tired of helping others. You will be rewarded when the time is right, if you don’t give up. (Galatians 6:9)
- Only God gives inward peace, and I depend on Him. Trust God, my friends and always tell Him each one of your concerns. God is our place of safety. (Psalms 62:5-8)
- My friends, as a follower of Christ, I beg you to get along with each other. Don’t take sides. Always try to agree in what you think. (1 Corinthians 1:10)
- You should be quick to listen and slow to speak or to get angry. If you are angry, you cannot do any of the good things that God wants done. (James 1:19-20)
- Don’t get so angry that you sin. Don’t go to bed angry and don’t give the devil a chance. (Ephesians 4:26-27)
Once you figure out the source of where your frustration is embedded, then you can start dealing with it. Frustration is a temporary emotion that will pass, so remind yourself that you can get through any frustrating time by working towards altering your way of thinking and developing problem solving skills. And become familiar with what types of distraction techniques such as completing simple chores that may not require close concentration. Can successfully become diversion techniques to not allow situations to overwhelm you and exacerbate your frustration.
Share your thoughts…
What ways do you effectively use to manage frustration?