What was your biggest regret in 2020?
None of us want to admit that our past actions impacted us in a negative way. Life gets busy. We get distracted. And never get around to doing things. Too soon all those ‘should have’s’ become ‘could have’s’. Most of all no one can reprioritise our to-do lists, or the choices we make except ourselves. The last year has definitely opened new ways of working. With more time to brainstorm new ideas, away from the office settings we were so accustomed to call our work place. Even though we may encounter many setbacks and changes, there are a few positives that we can gain from our new normal. Although holding onto regrets might seem easier than letting them go, this is an opportune time to carve new rules for life.
Table of contents
- What was your biggest regret in 2020?
- 15 new rules learnt from life lessons that can allow you to let go of regrets
- 1| Don’t prioritise work over family
- 2| Don’t allow people to bully you in life
- 3| Don’t lose touch with loved one’s because it’s difficult
- 4| Don’t keep checking your phone
- 5| Don’t worry about what others think of you
- 6| Don’t miss the opportunity to build confidence
- 7| Don’t live someone else’s life
- 8| Don’t take life so seriously
- 9| Don’t miss the moments to make memories with loved ones
- 10| Don’t let romance die in your relationship
- 11| Don’t stop talking to your loved ones because of a silly misunderstanding
- 12| Don’t ignore your intuition
- 13| Don’t procrastinate and stop studying
- 14| Don’t slip into unhealthy habits.
- 15| Don’t regret not saying goodbye to someone
- 15 positive emotions to choose over negative ones
- 15 new rules learnt from life lessons that can allow you to let go of regrets
15 new rules learnt from life lessons that can allow you to let go of regrets
1| Don’t prioritise work over family
There is always a way to balance a deadline at work and juggle spending precious time with loved ones. An equitable work life balance is something we have to figure out for our individual situations, without neglecting our health and productivity. The important point is ensuring you find a balance where you don’t forget to have a life, while trying to make a living.
2| Don’t allow people to bully you in life
Even if you cannot see it, there is a way you can become more confident. Over time, through conflict and confrontations, you can learn how to speak up for yourself and not let anyone walk all over you. Being professional and polite, yet confidently telling someone to stop doing something is not cowardly at all. They have the problem not you and just remember that.
3| Don’t lose touch with loved one’s because it’s difficult
How much does it cost to send a text and simply say hello, ‘I am thinking about you’, instead of allowing our ego and everything else to get in the way? In time some conflicts can resolve themselves, despite that, always aim to be the ‘bigger and better’ person. Keep trying even if it feels like it is all one-sided.
4| Don’t keep checking your phone
Have you noticed the amount of times when you are out with friends or family and there you go scrolling through your social media feeds. What happened to no distractions and just enjoying the evening for a few hours of quality time together? Unplugging from media even for short breaks, is beneficial to your health and happiness. Being offline, can bring so much peace and calm to your mind and soul.
5| Don’t worry about what others think of you
If you could get paid for the the number of times you worried about what someone else thought, you might be a wealthy person. One day, none of that will matter. Because those people or their opinions won’t count, regarding your future. Neither will what they think, impact how happy you are, or if you became successful! Regardless of the importance we centre around being liked and accepted, never forget that your life is no one else’s. So that means what you do is really none of their business.
6| Don’t miss the opportunity to build confidence
Have you been concerned about something that doesn’t matter or what someone once said? Believe in yourself, life is too short to worry about the past. Begin to realise you can and will and should and must become confident. In order to competently pursue your goals and purpose. Rather than ignore simple confidence builders like taking action now.
7| Don’t live someone else’s life
We all are guilty of dwelling on thoughts, where someone important or unimportant may have offered untimely advice that might have conflicted with our dreams and goals. We felt we never met that bench mark, because someone was more intelligent or smarter than we were. Stop! Whose life do you want to live? What everyone else thinks or says won’t matter when they are not there to see how hard you are working, and what life you are chasing to build.
8| Don’t take life so seriously
I know I struggled with this as I like to take everything seriously. Gradually, I am learning to find the humour in every situation, incorporate the funny moments and look on the lighter side of difficulties. It might seem silly or feel like a joke. But, as the famous saying goes, we grow old because we lose our playfulness. What’s the point of never learning how to dance in the rain and smile through the tears, when you feel like everything around you is falling apart.
9| Don’t miss the moments to make memories with loved ones
2020 saw travel dwindle, and though we might not have been able to go on holidays or schedule trips out with family. It is so still important to continue developing our relationships. And focus on time to build memories that will live on forever. It doesn’t have to be huge excursions, something simple can be just as breathtakingly cherished. Even if video calling is the only option to share some creative thinking, it’s all those fun moments that add up to unforgettable memories.
10| Don’t let romance die in your relationship
Perhaps romance is not considered a regret, but if you are walking along a rocky path, go back to why you fell in love, why you chose to say ‘I do’ and remember that sacred moment when you took your vows. From the emotions that fluttered through your heart and head, in those brief yet significant moments that meant so much. Couples may change and sometimes the only solution is breaking up. But, never let it get to that stage, where you are trying to mend a ridge all because you ignored the small cracks that could have been filled with communication and loving care.
11| Don’t stop talking to your loved ones because of a silly misunderstanding
The amount of times we see families torn apart, because they refused to bury a hatchet. Make the effort to say sorry. Try to let bygones be bygones or agree to disagree. In the end, none of that will matter. Life is filled with navigating misunderstandings and conflicts. Unfortunately families are not exempt from this. If you have tried every avenue, then sometimes walking away and maintaining respect may leave an open door, with the hope of one day finding a resolution.
12| Don’t ignore your intuition
Sometimes you know that you shouldn’t do something and you still do it. You won’t let go or walk away or do the right thing, just because its easier to ignore the red flags. Trust your gut instinct, there is a reason you feel that small hint prompting you to take action. After all the more knowledge you gain, the more you are able to understand your senses, past experiences and rely on the accuracy of those subtle feelings of danger or potential threats. Then make decisions on what is usually best for you in a situation.
13| Don’t procrastinate and stop studying
‘If only’ is not a word you want to be using. You can find time to study, to take that course, get that degree or change career paths. Yes, it will be hard and you will need dedication. Even if it means saying no to procrastination, giving up certain things in the process or having to prioritise, but it will all be worth it in the end. When you push past deadlines and make every task achievable.
14| Don’t slip into unhealthy habits.
It might seem easier not to exercise or eat healthier, or take care of your diet and watch your health. Promising yourself that you will get to this one day, is the worst promise you will make and most times it’s a promise you will break. If you start small, make little changes and focus on one task to get better at. Before you know it, those small habits will make a big difference. When something seems too difficult to tackle, pause and break the task into a more manageable format, then confront the situation again.
15| Don’t regret not saying goodbye to someone
This is something I regret, I never got the chance to say goodbye to a very dear loved one in my life and then she was gone and it was too late and I now have to live with that. However, it has propelled me into never missing that opportunity ever again. Because, even if you don’t know what to say, holding their hand or simply being there – in moments that could be their last – will be the most treasured moment you and they will know.
15 positive emotions to choose over negative ones
Be the person who never looks back and wishes that they could and should have seized the day. Here is how you can exchange your unreliable feelings for God’s trustworthy plan and the opportunities He brings into our lives.
- Instead of anger, choose patience
- Instead of anxiety, choose peace
- Instead of complaining, choose contentment
- Instead of discouragement, choose courage
- Instead of doubt, choose faith
- Instead of gossip, choose confidentiality
- Instead of hateful speech, choose pleasant words
- Instead of jealousy, choose an abundant heart
- Instead of laziness, choose diligence
- Instead of lying, choose the truth
- Instead of pride, choose humility
- Instead of rage, choose self-control
- Instead of self pity, choose praise
- Instead of unfaithfulness, choose loyalty
- Instead of using others, be self-sacrificing
Most times it’s the things we don’t do that torment us. In order to prevent yourself from wallowing in sorrow, over what you cannot change, or from those past regrets that hold you back. Weigh up being both careful and cautious as you look ahead. Then set up rules for the regrets you would like to resolve, by writing two columns in your journal and instead of putting off how you feel. Switch any regret into a new rule every day.
Share your thoughts…
What ways will you start creating and inventing new thinking ways – so that you have fewer regrets and learn from every unforeseen setback?