The Pain Of Grief. How Do We Cope With Sudden Loss?

Sometimes death thuds loudly at our door. In the loudness, there is no time to wedge the door open as death snatches the handle and bangs the door shut.

Where do we find hope in loss?

Where is the promise in grief?

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. Revelation 21:4

The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living. Marcus Tullius Cicero

There has been no time to say goodbye. We will never fully understand the suddenness in which death has stolen you. So callous and brutal. No argument in this finality.

As the door has closed a barrier is lodged within our hearts. Between life and death. Death so lasting like the door tightly secured with the key turned.

How do we fathom this drastic change?

Where do we turn?

Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.’ John 11:25-26

Death be not proud, though some have called thee mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; John Donnee

The pain of your departure, precious and dear husband, father, son, brother, uncle and more is something we now face. How we react can never be outlined. As our hearts are breaking. And our soul seeks to comprehend. Clasping the memories of you, preserved deep only in our thoughts. Wondering how the future will never be anything but a wish. For you to walk back and reappear. Our hearts must continue to beat as we clutch onto the knowledge that you dearest loved one have passed into an eternal sleep. Where there is no longer death or dying. Transitioned from mortal to immortal.

Hope whispers to us. That we linger not in the starkness of the slammed ending of your parting. Though gruelling. Yet, we behold the glorious divine perception that one day we will know and understand.

Sorrow befalls, plucking you our beloved one out of the bloom of life. To infinite sleep with no goodbye only continuous memoirs to embrace. The door has been firmly shut. Your lamp has been turned out. In our hearts, your endless light will burn through the darkness that immerses us concluded with the separation of death.

Every prayer, every teardrop we wrap you in love. As the wind carries your soul to eternity for all time. You are now safe in God’s keeping. And forever engraved in our hearts.

For this God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our guide even to the end. Psalms 48:14

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving

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4 Comments

  1. November 26, 2018 / 8:46 pm

    The passage in Revelation 21 is such a key one! We have a great hope that is coming if we are a child of God. And then your thought of not lingering on the past is great also. We need to work through the pain in a healthy way, but the enemy will keep bringing our minds back to it to pull us down. Thanks for the thoughts!

  2. Ava
    Author
    November 26, 2018 / 9:57 pm

    Thanks Paul for your great thoughts. Such a painful time but we have such a great hope in eternity.

  3. November 27, 2018 / 4:37 pm

    I love the hope of your post, but I don’t always share that same hope. This is a harsh truth, but sadly, one I’ve experienced—the loss of an unsaved loved one does not guarantee we will ever see that person again. When my dad died, everyone tried to reassure me that God is good, and maybe my dad got saved in those final breaths. But I don’t know. I honestly want to believe that, but in reality, one that we seldom like to face, not everyone gets to pass those pearly gates. Jesus warned us of that. Even though I think those “hell and damnation” preachers are missing the greater point of God’s love, there is an element of foreboding truth to them. We must remember that not everyone grabs their “get out of hell” free card in the person of Jesus Christ. So, it is imperative, considering death is inevitable, that we share our faith with our unsaved loved ones and friends, in as much as they will listen. We can hope that perhaps they will call on the only name that can save them when death comes knocking on their door.

  4. Ava
    Author
    November 27, 2018 / 8:59 pm

    Thanks Lisa for your honest thoughts. Indeed this is a tough question we all have considered and will ask. You are right we can share what we believe only in as much as our friends and family will hear. Sadly, the rest is left with them and God. Like your dad, I think the same of my grandparents. But, can only trust that God knows the answer. The book of Revelation outlines that choice. To choose eternal life or face eternal death.

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