3 Ways To Overcome The Fear Of Falling In Love…

 

Are you afraid of falling in love?

Does the thought of commitment make you run a mile?

Maybe you have tried falling in love and every relationship ends because you feel you need to move on or it did not seem to feel right.

But, deep down you are scared, terrified and no one knows that just the thought of an intimate relationship makes you say goodbye…

You could be phobic about love…

What is falling in love to you?

Is it such a scary thought?

A sense of closeness… comfort… having someone there for you… long walks… romantic dinners… flowers… chocolates and breakfast in a cosy coffee shop…

You can have all this… even friends to share these moments with but it’s not the same…

When you try to make a relationship work… maybe for the first few weeks, you still have your own space and freedom…

But slowly as you become more of a couple… when you stop planning dates… because you always together…

Then all the warning signs go off inside you head and you shy away…

Your friends think you are spontaneous and impulsive… chasing adventure and change…

You convince yourself that you are carefree and happy… however, you panic and dash back to your safe world of being single…

Does this sound familiar?

Is this how you feel right now?

It’s called philophobia ~ an abnormal fear of falling in love or emotional attachment. Mainly due to a previous traumatic experience in relationships…

There are 3 Specific Fears

Fear of change

You suddenly think that this person has come to invade your time, privacy, space… the list is endless…

You become anxious or nervous about falling in love…

You afraid of being overcrowded and getting too close…

Or if you do what will happen then?

Fear of intimacy

Getting close to someone violates all the boundaries you have built around yourself…

Where no one can hurt you…

Now you feel vulnerable and exposed…

You avoid and isolate yourself from situations where you could encounter love or romance…

You feel embarrassed…

Fear of rejection

You feel inadequate…

You start to pinpoint differences and start to think maybe we too different to be together

You bring in all the ‘what if’s’

Or things are fine… but you over exaggerate to make it all go wrong…

Your phobia could be controlling you…

But there is hope  for you can cope…

You can overcome this phobia; especially if all you have ever done in the past is avoid developing relationships.

1| Understand why this is happening ~ accept the problem, then get help by finding a counsellor or CBT therapist…

2| Tolerate and work through your issues by overcoming these 3 fears…

3| Love yourself first, then go out there and once you get past the first few dates and things start to develop and become more serious ~ don’t dash at the drop of a hat!

  • Remember intimacy is about change ~ you are two different individuals with different ambitions, goals, perspectives and it isn’t always easy.
  • But neither is growing ~ it requires time and patience… communication and understanding.

 [Shape of your heart, Hillsong United]

 

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