14 Steps In Learning To Love…

It’s Valentine’s Day!

Everyone is talking love… making plans… sending flowers and cards…

Perhaps you cannot face the idea of love… following a heartbreak; disappointment or rejection…

Though difficult… the only way we grow through disappointments… is by taking a chance…

If you play it safe nothing will change… it’s through making mistakes… that we develop our intuition… change our mindset… attitudes… behaviours….

Allow Christ to rebuild your self-esteem… he is my First Love and loves me with a love that will never let me go…
As I pursue Christ, My Kinsman Redeemer first, I encounter His love ~ which will never reject or diasappoint me…

I am learning to love myself… forgive myself… become confident… because I recognise my identity created by my Heavenly Father…
Knowing my worth is only defined in Christ, this gives me the assurance to motivate and encourage myself… it allows me to develop the attributes I look for in another person ~ within myself…

Life is a continuous process of change and progress… so learning to love [for the first time or again and again] is a risk worth taking and a choice to make…

Here are my 14 Steps in Learning to Love ~

#1. Be A Friend

Initiate a conversation… spend time in conversation with others… give compliments… say nice things and mean it… laugh…
Be sincere… act tactfully… don’t brag… don’t gossip… show small acts of kindness ~ in what you say and do for others…

#2. Communicate Effectively

Listen carefully before you speak… pay attention to body language… stay focused and in the moment… be aware of what the other person is saying… their feelings…
Minimise stress… don’t talk over others…
Actively question without judgement or accusation… be positive in your approach…
Take responsibility for your own thoughts; attitudes and actions… don’t complain… use criticism constructively…
Accept feedback… learn how to diffuse a difficult situation… how to resolve conflict effectively…

#3. Respect Others

Consider the other person’s feelings; differences; space…be calm and courteous… think before you speak…
Practice patience… lend a hand…  boundaries are there for a reason… be wise in making decisions… don’t be patronising… eliminate resentment… don’t stereotype… or talk behind anyone’s back…

#4. Be Thoughtful

Be kind and show thoughtfulness by thinking of others the same way you would yourself… it goes a long way… assist others… offer an encouraging smile… uplifting words… remembering important dates… just being nice with no hidden reason…

#5. Be Honest

Think about your values… who do you want to be?
Don’t compare yourself with others… tell the truth… and contemplate how your words match your actions…

#6. Care More

Appreciate every situation… be polite… have good manners… push selfishness away and think about others the way you would take time for yourself…  take an interest in others… apologise when you are wrong… forgive… take responsibility for your actions…

#7. Be Understanding

Resolve your own emotional pain… and hurts… take time to ask active questions… to be available to the person you care for… by practicing empathy and showing compassion in difficult situations you learn to become understanding…

#8. Learn Unselfishness

Begin with changing selfish thinking… banish jealousy… be considerate and caring towards others even if they don’t reciprocate… do thankless things for others… eliminate envy and gossip… be happy for the achievements of others…think about you would like to be treated ~ then kind acts towards others is the beginning…

#9. Learn To Trust Your Gut

Learning trust comes from knowing your identity in Christ… to trust God comes with spending time and developing a relationship with God…
Learning and listening to your intuition takes time and practice…use common sense…
With honesty… and respect… and intuition…. you learn how to become confident in yourself… and distinguish the feeling of assurance and security… from others…

#10. Cherish

Start by caring about yourself… this will in turn be displayed to others you hold dear!
Love yourself… it takes time…
Find value in yourself… don’t compare yourself to others… to cherish another learn self-love by being yourself…
Esteem yourself… and not seeking acceptance from others… or living according to their script for your life…

#11. Compromise

Develop mutual concession… don’t always try to be right… listen… keep rethinking your expectations… show appreciation… don’t take anything for granted… be open and willing to change always…

#12. Be Generous

Be ready to share… practice selflessness… be thankful for what you have right now… it shows… by being kind and giving time to another you learn gratitude for what you have…

#13. Have Fun

Learn to be light hearted… see the funny side in everything… smile… laugh… relax your body language…
Be spontaneous… don’t be so serious or you miss the small things around you ~ like the moment… take positivity everywhere you go… find simple things in life to enjoy like smiling at strangers… make regular activities fun…
It keeps you motivated… engaged in learning new things… making you a more inspirational person…

#14. Start Positive Affirmations

As humans… the keys to our brain is repetition… so rewire your brain… by choosing to continuous say positive things to yourself… and others
Build yourself through self-improvement…. start a new habit of affirming yourself every morning positively… then living it out…
Base it on God’s Word…. His promises…. devotions…
It will improve your outlook instantly… change your focus… encourage yourself through positive self-talk…

Points To Ponder…

  • Don’t listen to the lies of the enemy ~ you can become a better person… start now by developing the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) in you life…
  • Commit to learning how to love ~ right now… with everyone God has placed around you… learn your love language… read the ‘5 Love Languages’ by Gary Chapman.
  • Remember nothing can separate us from the love of Christ (Romans 8:35) ~ in the waiting… get busy… line everything up with God’s Word ~ for guidance… and journey towards becoming more like Christ day by day! God will bring the right person at the right time! 

Love So Great, Hillsong (source : youtube.com)

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